Marian D. Gruhler
Marian D. Gruhler

December 5, 1911 - March 19, 2016
Resided in Chico, CA
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Marian Dorothy Raffetto Gruhler
December 5, 2011—March 19, 2016

Mom's gone.
Why did she live so long?
104 is no spring chicken.
No. It's not. She kept on tickin'.

Born in Sacramento, she grew up an only child.
Her father gave her chocolates at which she'd smile.
But her father died when she was ten.
Of tuberculosis, still an issue, way back then.
It was before Social Security so she and her mom.
Had to move often from one uncle to an aunt.
Families the answer to people in want.
Finally her mom found work.
Low paying, yes. Something equal to the pay of a clerk.

But they had each other these, two.
And by her mother's sewing
Mom looked like a moneyed ingénue.
And so at the high school she was going.
She looked stylish and comely and attracted our dad, Ted.
So in high school they became sweethearts.
When off to college he said,
"Let's stay friends," and "Let's date others."
Our mom said, "great." She was clever, our mother.
By then it was too late. Dad knew his fate.
He had to marry this love.
And they became lifelong mates.

Because of the great depression,
Their marriage was a small to-do.
A tidy but elegant session,
"Aunt" Rose and "Uncle" John Remick were there too.
Things got better. Until World War II.
And our dad, the patriot, went to war, like those that do.
A Navy Lieutenant, he fought as a gunner.
And luckily for us, he was one to make it through.
The war in the Pacific, a downer, a bummer.

When Dad went out to sea, both Dad and she.
Would cry and wail. Cling to each other, tooth and nail.
The war finally over, Dad in one piece after the conflicts,
Bob came to the family in 1946.

He was the apple of their eye.
Until along came Kathryn, a 1950s butterfly.
Yes, she was a grand addition,
But she would always be in the second position.

Marian was a great mom.
Funny and light.
From chocolate chip pancakes.
To stories at night.
She taught us to laugh.
She taught us to play.
She taught us to enjoy.
The night and the day.

But she was not fluff.
In fact she was tough.
Give her a deck of cards.
Or dominoes game.
She'd tear you a new one.
You'd walk away lamed.

As a mother, she helped us through our teens.
Our childhood and marriages.
And everything in between.
Her gift was her sense of humor.
It took us from our generation.
As two members of the Baby Boomers.
We often needed restorations.

And finally when Mom was ninety,
Bob and Annette took her in.
They loved her, they cared for her.
And much to their chagrin.
Even as she aged to 104,
She'd clean their clocks at dominoes — to their horror!
But of course be aware that she rued the day.
When she taught Annette Heileson how to play!

Through surgeries and breaks,
They helped her through.
Until finally the last fall
Would be the fall that would undo.
The strength of mom's grit.
Mom's last little bit.
And finally she breathed her last breath.
And that was it.
A peaceful and serene queen.
We love you, mom.
We know you and dad are together
After this day, March 19, 2016.



East Lawn Memorial Park
4300 Folsom Boulevard
Sacramento, CA US 95819
Monday, August 8, 2016